One day, a little boy goes over to his grandparents house and is sitting out on the porch with his grandfather.
Grandpa is drinking a beer and the little boy asks if he can have a sip.
"Can your dick touch your asshole?" replies the grandpa.
He says no, so the grandpa says “well, then you aren’t old enough yet to drink beer”.
The little boy goes back to his grandparents house about a week later and is again sitting on the porch with grandpa, and again asks if he can have a sip of grandpa’s beer.
"Can your dick touch your asshole yet?" He says it still cant, so Grandpa say "Sorry, but you’re still not old enough yet"
The little boy goes inside where grandma gives him a plate of fresh cookies. He goes back outside and Grandpa asks him if he can have one.
"Can YOUR dick touch YOUR asshole, Grandpa?"
"Sure can" says Grandpa.
"Well good for you, then go fuck yourself, cuz these are my cookies":)
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and Needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.
The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”
The blonde replies, “Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”